In Your Head

Martin: So. I could have bought a tree stand at the store today but I didn't.
Me: Well that's good, because you already have two.
Martin: I know. I actually already had this same conversation with you in the store in my head. I think they were actually cheaper this year than they were last year but I know I can't sit and watch deer in three places at once and I knew you would say that I already have two so I stopped myself from buying one!

Victory!

Lunch

Setup: Aubrey loves to make everyone lunch in her play kitchen (best roadside find ever!).

Aubrey: Here's your lunch!
Me: What is it?
Aubrey: Oooh. It's a cupcake.
Me: A cupcake for lunch?! We need to eat some fruits and vegetables.
Aubrey: Oh. right! Here's your fruits and vegetables.
Me: Thank you! What type of fruit is this.
Aubrey: I think it's chocolate cake.
Me: That's not a vegetable! A vegetable is something like salad. or eggplant. or squash.
Aubrey: Um. Mom. Stop talking.

Apparently doesn't want to hear the vegetable talk.

Clearly not Aubrey, but due to her lack of speech this cutie is making limited appearances on here!

Super Why!

Setup: Aubrey is obsessed with this show Super Why! it's a PBS show, but we watch it on Netflix. I'm pretty okay with her watching this every single morning while I take a shower and then sometimes at night too because they learn letters and spelling and there is always a lesson simple poignant like Sharing is Good! or Don't Waster Water!. Also, between Super Why! and a letter app on my cellphone Aubrey has managed to be able to pick out all capital letters (we're still working on lowercase) and that's something I certainly don't have the skills to teach her. Each episode they have to replace a word in the story to solve the problem. Aubrey has gotten pretty good at knowing which word Wyatt (the main character - get it Super Wyatt?) should replace but they always choose the wrong word on the first try and then choose the right word on the second try. This is the conversation that plays out between myself and Aubrey almost every time she watches an episode.

Aubrey: Yelling at the computer for Wyatt to choose the word. He chooses the wrong word. She runs into the kitchen. Mom! Super Why is not listening to me!
Me: Oh no! Well you better go tell him that you are really smart and he should listen to you.
Aubrey: Yeah. (runs back to computer. They finally choose the correct response. After Aubrey's yelling of course. Runs back to me in the kitchen.) Mom! Super Why is listening to me!
Me: Oh good job! You helped him solve the problem!
Aubrey: Yeah.

Photo from a Super Big Problem. A broken crayon.

Handyman

Setup: I love our house, but like any old house, there are some really annoying things about it. Like the basement door that sticks and rarely opens. Yesterday I was caught yanking on the basement door by Martin who quickly put a stop to my method.

Martin: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa! Don't do that. Let me show you. If the door doesn't open put your hand like this and apply even pressure here and just like that you can slowly pull it open.
Me: (looking at him dubiously as I know this is a method I will probably not be able to recreate) Ok.
Martin: Because if you do what you're doing one of these days your going to break off the bottom hinge and you know I'm not going to fix it and then....well that's it, you know I'm not going to fix it.

Point well taken. As evidenced by the door to our recycling cupboard which Aubrey leaned on and knocked out of the wall within the first couple months of living in this home.....We still have a doorless cupboard.

But. There was the lightswitch he replaced back in the spring.

Matt: Take a picture so you can remember Martin doing home repairs.

Oh Matt, you know my husband so well!

Call of Duty

Setup: It's 1:20 in the morning. I'm attempting to break Sylvia of her terrible habit of waking up for a bottle every. single. night. at 12:00, 3:00 and then 6:00. It's a tiring affair. She's been awake and crying since 12:30 AM. I have finally decided that she is not going to cry herself to sleep and I drag myself out of bed and, after changing her diaper, go downstairs to prepare a bottle. I come back upstairs to find Martin leaning over Sylvia's crib in an attempt to coo her back to sleep.

Me: Hey. Way to respond to the call of action.
Martin: What? I heard her crying.
Me: She's been crying for 50 minutes .
Martin: Well, I just heard her and got up.

We give Sylvia the bottle and go back to bed.

Martin: I know you didn't say it - but, you're welcome.

Colors

Aubrey: Look, mom! My Van Lieshout Family Farms shirt is green just like Sylvia's poop!

Corn Maze Fun!

When you go to a 12 acre corn maze with two adorable toddlers you tend to get adorable pictures.

And lots of playing "Boo" with each other while taking turns hiding behind a stalk of corn.....obviously the ultimate hiding spot.

And if you take directions from the toddlers while chatting with your friend and neither of you are paying the slightest attention to direction then you might be in the maze for 45 minutes. After that 45 minutes, if you're lucky, some employee will happen to cross your path and ask you if you need help getting out. 15 minutes later (following said employee the entire time) when you realize you were not close AT ALL to the end you will exit the maze.

ps. I'm aware this post with no conversation comes on the heels of my conversation only proclamation. I don't care. These pictures are too cute not to share.

It Will Be a Conversation

Michelle: So your blog is all conversations now?
Me: Yeah.
Michelle: Why?
Me: Well, I was just feeling really uninspired to write other posts, and the conversations are my favorite part anyway.
Martin: So, what are you going to do when something really inappropriate happens in our marriage and you want to post about it.
Me: Oh, it will be a conversation.
Michelle: Yeah, she'll be posting the conversation before you have it.

Weddings and Favors

Our good family friend Bailey Hartway Bannister got married to the love of her life Robert Bannister this weekend. It was a cowboy boot kind of wedding so I was definitely waaaay too excited. Also, Bailey looked beautiful. And Martin and I have decided we're moving to Nebraska.....or at the very least - visiting.  Plus, they're beef farmers, so they gave out steak knives as favors (Score!) and the steak knives had their initials on them which also happen to be ours (Double Score!) and we happened to find eleven forgotten knives on tables at the end of the night (Triple Score!/Thanks Katie, Ryan and Karalyn for leaving yours!/I'll give them to you if you want them)

Martin: These steak knives are going to be so great in our kitchen! We are going to clean up when everyone forgets to take theirs home tonight!
Me: That's exactly what I was thinking! And our name starts with B too!
Martin: I am so turned on right now.

As we're headed to our car at the end of the night with 11 knives in tow..

Martin: I wanted to thank Mr. and Mrs. Bannister for hosting such a nice party, but I was too busy searching the tables for discarded knives.

So, Mr. and Mrs. Bannister - officially - Thank you! We had an amazing time!

Turn the Page!

Setup: Aubrey has asked me to "read" her a story about the two of us. I start to tell a story..

Me: Once upon a time, there was a very smart little girl with beautiful blonde curly hair and she had a mommy who loved her very much (I briefly pause to decide where to go with this story)
Aubrey: Turn the page, mom.
Me: Ok....(still thinking)
Aubrey: Mom! You have to turn the page! Aren't you turning the page?

All curled up and ready for a good story.

2:14

Setup: A three day weekend. Two cups of coffee brewed at 11:20pm in the hopes of watching a marathon of Scrubs. Don't judge. Ps. Martin is returning home from driving truck, you know actually working during this conversation at 2:14 AM.

Martin: Are you actually awake?
Me: Yep!
Martin: Wow, looks like you're really making the most of this long weekend.
Me: Yep!
Martin: Ok, well I'm going to go to bed.
Me: Oooohh. Okay.
Martin: You sound disappointed that I want to sleep.....At 2:00 in the morning.

Continue Watching

Amanda: Don't you hate how Netflix pops up with that continue watching button after a few episodes? It's like, yes, I'm still here doing nothing and I still want to keep watching.
Martin: I know, it's like they're really rubbing it in your face that you're not doing anything productive. 'Don't worry - I'm still here. Not mowing the lawn'
Me: The only time it's really useful is when you've fallen asleep. You know, so you don't miss a bunch of episodes.


Oh laziness!

Summer of Fun

Martin: Man, every summer I think 'This is going to be the summer of fun' and then the summer goes by and I hardly did anything and mostly worked.
Me: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Martin: Oh well, I guess there is always next summer.
Me: (for some reason adding a morbid bit to the conversation) Well....until there isn't.
Martin: What, you think I'm going to wither away on you?
Me: Ha! Definitely not.
Martin: I'll do it just to prove you wrong.

36 Weeks.

Update: this post somehow got reposted from when I was 36 weeks pregnant with Sylvia. I am NOT pregnant again.  

Here I am at 36 weeks and I'm actually feeling spectacular! There was a time during the holidays when I honestly thought I was going to have the baby at any second but the last few days I have been feeling so well, I think I could probably be pregnant for a while. Which is a good thing....because apparently I may not be 36 weeks.

I mean, I guess we're still calling it 36 weeks and they're not changing my due date or anything, but when I went to the doctor this past week my stomach didn't "measure up" to be as large as it should at this point in my pregnancy so my doctor immediately sent me for an ultrasound to ensure the baby is large enough and there is enough fluid in my uterus for the baby to live healthily. What I found out is - there is plenty of fluid. And also, the baby is on the small side but not alarmingly small. I haven't spoken with my doctor about the findings yet, but what I gleamed from the ultrasound technician is that the baby is just slightly smaller than Aubrey probably would have been at the same stage in my first pregnancy meaning that this baby might be a little smaller than Aubrey or I might go a little bit late with the delivery.

In other news, I've been meaning to share this story for about a month now in a pregnancy post and just haven't done many pregnancy posts until last week when I completely forgot to add this anecdote.

Me: (after visiting the doctor one Monday morning): So guess who I saw at the doctor today?
Martin: I don't know, who?
Me: (names an acquaintance) And guess who was with her?
Martin: No idea.
Me: Her husband.
Martin: Oh, well.....good for him.......When is she due anyway?
Me: She's having a C-section on Friday.
Martin: Well, of course he's going to be there! This is the end!
Me: When I was pregnant with Aubrey I went to the doctor on my due date and you didn't join.
Martin: I soon as I said that previous statement I knew I was going to regret it.

The State of Our Pantry

Setup: Text conversation a few weeks back. You'd never believe I work in a grocery store.

Martin: Mind grabbing some groceries today? Love you!
Me: I guess I could do that. :p Why are you sick of noodles?
Martin: No, but I think we only have a box of them left too. lol. Had graham crackers and milk for breakfast. those were good.

Listening

Setup: Aubrey had her first gymnastics class on Monday afternoon. Monday evening at dinner, we were discussing the class.

Me: She just wasn't as well behaved as I would have liked. She didn't listen at all.
Martin: We're going to have to work on your listening skills, aren't we?
Aubrey: What?

and there you have it....

photo, unrelated but adorable

Say You're Sorry

Setup: I'm washing dishes and, in my typical fashion, I'm hurriedly shoving pots and pans into the cupboards. One of the pots makes a loud noise as I shove it behind the door causing Aubrey to look up from her very intense game of imagination with the pieces to Candyland. (For the first time ever in an Aubrey adventure, no one needs to be resuced or go to the hospital, but instead it seems they are going to a wedding and one of them is wearing a very nice sparkly dress)

Aubrey: Mommy! You scared Sylvia with that noise!
Me: Oh, I'm sorry.
Aubrey: Say you're sorry to Sylvia.
Me: I'm sorry Sylvia.
Aubrey: Good girl.

A Little Bit Cranky

Setup: Aubrey is attempting to "play" with Sylvia by getting her to crawl faster by pushing her butt forward until she falls forward face-planting onto the ground, repeatedly. She then decides she wants to hold Sylvia and lays on the floor on her back with Sylvia laying across her chest crying her eyes out.

Aubrey: Why is my sister crying. I think she is a little bit cranky.
Me: I think she's crying because you are hurting her.
Aubrey: Yeah. I need to be a little gentle. Then she will not cry. I am sorry Sylvia. I will be gentle.
Sylvia: continues with a slight wimper.
Aubrey: I told her I was sorry and she is still crying! I think she is just a little bit cranky!

Super Happy

Setup: We're in the kitchen cooking dinner. Aubrey is riffling through the drawers and pulls out a large, heart shaped jar opener. She promptly holds the opener up to her chest.

Aubrey: You make my heart feel SUPER Happy!

Bathroom Tales

Setup: It's morning. We're all in the bathroom at the same time shuffling around each other. Weird? Possibly, but it's morning and we've got places to go. Martin has his back turned to Aubrey and I and is going to the bathroom.

Aubrey: Mommy, daddy is using his hand to go pee. That is SO silly!
Me: Daddy is a boy. Boys pee different than girls.
Aubrey: That is SO SILLY!!!

Pumpkin

Me: Aubrey, it is getting late. We better get to bed before you turn into a pumpkin!
Aubrey: Oh no! Is the Ditchen going to turn me into a pumpkin?
Me: (thinking she said Kitchen) Yeah, sure. We better get upstairs!
Aubrey: Oh no! We better hurry.
Me: Ok, let's put some pajamas on.
Aubrey: Mommy. HURRY! The Ditchen is going to get us!

upstairs, in the bathroom.

Aubrey: The Ditchen is going to get me and turn me into a pumpkin. And that's not good. And the Ditchen is going to turn all my toes into a boo boo. And won't be good either. I have to get to bed before the Ditchen gets up here! The Ditchen is not nice! And that is not good. We need to make her nice again.

I've never met this Ditchen, but she sure did make for an easy bedtime tonight.

update: Apparently she was not saying Ditchen but Witch. I figured this out when she told me she had to break the Witch's wand in half before bed tonight.

Five Years, Five Clues

we had a surprisingly difficult time taking a picture of ourselves where one or the other or both of us didn't look like a complete creeper. Or high. We're apparently the absolute worst at taking a selfie. (sidenote: I absolutely hate the word selfie which has recently been added to the Oxford American Dictionary - great going, America.) This picture above is basically the best of the worst.

For our anniversary on Friday night, Martin and I went on a scavenger hunt of sorts. I was inspired by my dear friend Katie Mason Epstein whom sent her husband on a scavenger hunt for their anniversary and lead him to Taylor Swift tickets. While I was pretty sure I didn't have any grand plans for an "end of the hunt" surprise, I thought making the scavenger hunt the present would be a good idea also. So I planned an evening full of activities and each stop along our date was preceded with a clue leading Martin in the right direction. I thought the clues were hard enough to not spell it out, but easy enough that Martin would get them right away.....I was wrong. My first clue: "Let's start tonight off with a bet. Be on the look out for big hats" It took some considerable coaching before Martin realized we were going to the horse races.

But, after some mild confusion over which race they were on, how to bet, how to win, who to bet on etc. We did place a $2 bet. And, even though it was only $2, Martin made sure to throw his ticket on the ground as if he had lost our children's college tuition in the race. A realistic enough impression that the woman standing next to us wished us better luck on the next race as she walked away.

At dinner, the table behind us started discussing Full House and Martin had all he could do not to jump out of his chair and join the conversation, especially when the men at the table had never heard of the show.

And at the bar, our Guinness had a perfect shamrock drawn into the foam.

Five Years. Five Clues. One Successful Night.

There's Two?

Sometimes, it takes a special occasion like a wedding to realize just how long it's been since you've seen or talked to or even just shared the slightest bits of information with people you used to see on a daily basis.

Ranatta: So, does your mom have the kid?
Me: Yeah, they're with my mom.
Ranatta: Wait....THEY?
Me: Yeah. I have two girls.
Ranatta: When did that happen?


And to think, almost exactly three years ago I stood up in her gorgeous wedding. I need to keep in better touch with my friends!