Thursday, January 30, 2014


Me: Ugh. These blankets are all messed up. They're not even covering your whole body!
Martin: Well, fix them if you want. I'm just going to lay here.
Me: Ok.......let's start from the very beginning.
Martin: (to musical tune) It's a very good place to start.
Martin: You should be impressed with how cultured I am
Me: What? Cause you've seen the Sound of Music
Martin: I don't think very many people would sing that so quickly. 

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Sword in the Stone

Dental Hygienist: What is your favorite movie, Aubrey?
Aubrey: Well..... the BESTEST movie ever is.....THE SWORD IN THE STONE!
Dental Hygienist: Really. Wow. That's a different one. 


Aubrey: That is my sister. Her name is Sylvia.
Dental Hygienist: Oh, do you like to play with your sister?
Aubrey: Yeah. We played in my room for a little bit and then we came here
Dental Hygienist: What do you like to play with your sister? Do you like to play with dolls?
Aubrey: Well....actually.....I really like to play with my blocks. 
Dental Hygienist: Oh! What do you like to build with your blocks
Aubrey: I build a REALLY TALL TOWER!
Dental Hygienist: Do you build a tower so tall until it falls over?
Aubrey: No.....actually.....Sylvia knocks my tower over.
Dental Hygienist: Well that's what little sisters are for, huh?


Aubrey: Mom, are we coming back to the dentist tomorrow?
Me: No, not tomorrow. 
Random person in waiting room: Probably in six months.
Aubrey: Then where are we going tomorrow?
Me: Well, you're going to go to grandma's tomorrow
Aubrey: (to random person in waiting room): I am not going to come back here tomorrow. I am going to go to my grandma's house tomorrow.
Random person in waiting room: Oh, that will be fun
Aubrey: Yeah, it is going to be SO MUCH FUN!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

I Spy

Me: I spy something......white.
Aubrey: Hmm.......oh! I know! Sylvia's Sock!
Me: That is white, but that's not what I'm spying. What else?
Aubrey: Mom! It's Sylvia's sock!
Me: That's not what I spy. What else is white?
Aubrey: Mom! I said it's Sylvia's sock!!
Me: What about my mitten? Is my mitten white?
Aubrey: Mom! I said it's Sylvia's sock! It is not your mitten! I said Sylvia's sock!
Me: I know Sylvia's sock is white, but that is not what I was spying.
Aubrey: I don't want to play this game with you anymore. You are not really good at this game. 

Monday, January 27, 2014


Martin: I am a business professional. I don't know if you realize this, but I have A BRIEFCASE.
Me: That's not a briefcase, that's a children's hard case lunchbox.
Martin: It's not about what it IS. It's about what's INSIDE.
Me: Ha! Ok, what's inside?
Martin: Paperwork. And my phone charger. The charger that I use to charge the phone that I use to network with other young industry professionals.
Me: Hmm. You might have a point. What kind of paperwork do you have?
Martin: My log book. And a day planner........and sometimes my wallet.


Martin: Ok, well that might technically qualify it as a purse.
Me: Yeah, I was going to say - that's almost exactly what I have in my purse.
Martin: Well. For one fleeting moment I REALLY had a briefcase.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Alarm Clock

*Thursday Morning*

Martin: So I've been doing this thing with Aubrey when I put her to bed. I can't believe how well it is working
Me: What are you doing?
Martin: Well, I put her to bed and she always says 'I want you to sleep with me'. So lately, the last seven times or so, I've said OK and then I lay down for a second and then I say 'Oh no! Daddy has to go set his alarm. I'll be right back!' And then I don't come back and she falls asleep. 
Me: Ha! 

*Thursday night*

Me: (waking Martin up in Aubrey's bed) Martin, wake up! Come on. Come to our bed. You're in Aubrey's bed.
Martin: Where is the alarm clock?
Me: Your phone is sitting on our bedside table. I just saw it.
-we walk to our room -
Martin: No. Aubrey took my alarm clock.
Me: What?
Martin: I did the alarm clock thing with her. And then I went downstairs for a little bit and then I came back up to take a shower. I was just in the shower and Aubrey opened the door telling me she couldn't sleep. I sent her back to bed and told her I'd be right there. When I got out of the shower Aubrey was sitting up in her bed. She had pulled the alarm clock out of my wall and dragged it to her bedroom.
       Aubrey: Daddy! I got the alarm clock so now we can go to bed!

Friday, January 24, 2014


Martin: (curling up into bed) Brrr. I am freezing.
Me: (lays into bed and attempts to rub chest with hands)
Martin: Ahhh! What are you doing???
Me: Oh. I was trying to warm you up. I forgot my hands are like icicles. 
Martin: Ha. It's like its opposite day or something. Usually your the one yelling at me for cold hands. Except usually my hands are cold from being outside. Yours are cold because of some weird, hereditary circulation problem. 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Small Crush

Aubrey: I can't wait 'till Cory and the cows see my nails!


Aubrey: Are we all done milking?
Me: Yep. Now we just have to clean up.
Aubrey: Yeah. And then we will be all done and Cory will be sooo happy!


Aubrey: I think that Sylvia can't wait to see Cory. 

Wednesday, January 22, 2014


Me:'re going to be really mad at me......
Martin: ...What...
Me: Well....I can't go to Canada to look at cows with you because my passport expired. I know. I'm an idiot. I don't know what I was thinking! I can't believe I did that! I'm going to get it renewed. 
Martin: You're so mad at yourself I feel like I can't even be mad at you. But it does seem a little hypocritical in light of how much flak you gave me to actually get a passport. 
Me: I know! I can't believe I did this. 

my berating of myself continues for a good ten minutes.

Martin: Don't worry about it so much. It took my almost ten years to actually fill out the paperwork and get one. 
Me: I know, but....
Martin: What? You expect less from me than yourself?

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Spilled MIlk

Aubrey: Mom, can I please have some paper towels?
Me: Did you spill your milk?
Aubrey: (frantic) Don't come in the living room!!! Can I just have some paper towels?

Monday, January 20, 2014

Grand Central

Amanda: I thought the station was a little bit farther up the street so I was walking and I came to this beautiful building and I was like, what is this beautiful building? Then I realized I'm an idiot and it was Grand Central Station
Me: I had the exact opposite experience looking for my train station. I was expecting it to look like Grand Central Station so every nice building I saw I was like 'is this it?' Turns out it looked like every other train station, a platform with a track on either side. 

Sunday, January 19, 2014

On the Train

Woman on the Train: He's kind of fat, you know? Well. like your husband....Now I don't think you're husband is fat at all, but he's kind of like that. Or like your brother Max. 

Saturday, January 18, 2014


Aubrey: Mommy, I love you more than the planets.
Me: Well...I love you more than the planets AND the stars
Aubrey: Well, I love you more than Earth!
Me: I love you more than Jupiter.
Aubrey: Mom! We don't live on Jupiter!
Martin: We don't?
Aubrey: Daddy, no. Don't be silly
Martin: Do we live on Mars?
Aubrey: We live on Earth!
Martin: Oh, ok. Thank you, Aubrey.


Aubrey: (with a sly look on her face) Do we live on.....Mercury??
Me: Hmm. I don't think so. 
Aubrey: Yeah. I am silly. You should laugh. 

Friday, January 17, 2014


Martin: Ok, let's go upstairs and spoon for thirty seconds.
Me: Thirty seconds??
Martin: Well, I feel like I can't sleep when we're spooning so I usually roll over after about thirty seconds
Me: Yeah right! You can sleep anywhere! Usually you fall asleep within thirty seconds. But LATELY everytime we're spooning you're sleeping, it's amazing and then SOME kid starts crying and I have to leave the bed and by the time I get back you've rolled over and the moment is passed. One time recently it was actually Aubrey needing help going to the bathroom.
Martin: The nerve! She should have just peed her pants so we could yell at her for wetting the bed. 

Thursday, January 16, 2014


Martin: Hey honey! How is your drive going?
Me: Terribly! I'm driving around like an *expletive* idiot. It's *expletive* *expletive* dark and *expletive* raining. I can't find an *expletive* place to park and there are a million *expletive* cars. 
Martin: Ok......well I'm probably going to take you off of speaker phone.
Aubrey: Mommy, I love you!
Me: Oh boy. That's probably a good idea. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Cats and Dogs

Me: You're going to have so much fun with Kerri and Rob. Kerri is going to bring her dog, Missy.
Aubrey: Really??? I am going to play catch with that dog!
Me: Yeah, I bet she will really like that. Do you remember Missy?
Aubrey: Yeah.
Me: She's a pretty little dog, huh. She's about the size of a cat. 
Aubrey: Mom! Dogs and cats ARE NOT the same thing! Silly!!
Me: Ha! You are right Aubrey, I'm not very smart, am I?
Aubrey: Yeah. You are not that smart. 

Aubrey: Mom, you better text Kerri and tell her to bring a dog bowl so we can give Missy some water. 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Age Appropriate

A phone conversation between Martin and myself circa 9:45 AM Sunday Morning.

Me: It was a really age appropriate birthday. We drank a lot of wine and made gnocchi from scratch. And then eventually we went to the bar for a couple of drinks. Today I feel like I'm going to die. I'm sweating. My whole body hurts.
Martin: Yep. That sounds like a hangover. Clear diagnosis. 

Lots of pauses in conversation.

Martin: Well, you're just blowing me away with your talkativeness. I'll talk to you later, love!


A text message from Amanda during said conversation. She's in her room. Less than 6 feet from me, in the living room.

Amanda: I'm dying


A conversation between Amanda and myself, minutes later

Me: I can't even function. I was talking to Martin on the phone and I felt like we had been talking forever, I couldn't even say anything. Then when I hung up I realized it had been three minutes and twenty eight seconds. 

I'm pretty sure this is what old feels like.

Saturday, January 4, 2014


Mom: Sylvia, you threw half of your dinner on the floor.
Dad: That's okay. She'll eat most of it when she gets down.
Martin: Oh good! I do that too. I didn't want to say anything, but if we're being honest I'll go ahead and let her graze off her floor mess. 

Friday, January 3, 2014


*Conversation from a few weeks ago, during a power outage, after an ice storm*

Martin: I bet there won't even be school tomorrow. 
Me: Hmm. Well.....I'm not a teacher and my kids aren't in school so that's really the last thing I care about right now. 
Martin:  I just get so excited thinking that SOMEONE is getting a snow day! Even if its not me.
Me: Ha! You are a much better person than I.....Wait. It's Christmas vacation. There is no school tomorrow anyway.
Martin: Oh man! Those kids are really getting screwed. 

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Morning Routine

Me: (putting on blush and mascara. my two makeup staples).
Aubrey: Mom, I need to put my makeuper on. 
proceeds to take chapstick out of bathroom drawer and rub on her lips.
Aubrey: There. I got my makeuper on. Now I look soooo fancy!

repeat. every morning. sometimes before bed.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014


This year was definitely the best Christmas to date because Aubrey was SO EXCITED. On the days leading up to Christmas we had created a paper chain countdown and she woke up every morning saying

Is it a new day today?!!! 

And then promptly running for the scissors to cut a link.

On Christmas morning she came crawling into my bed, body shaking with excitement and whispered

I wonder if Santa Claus came last night!!!!

And each time in the last week when someone has stopped by the house with a wrapped package her whole body has started to tremble with excitement as she shouts

I wonder what it's gonna be!!!!

Oh, to be three again! So glad I can experience the holidays through her eyes!