Amid all the chaos that's been ensuing around here, there's also been a lot of pleasure and bonding and having the time of my life. I mentioned in my last post that life was an emotional roller coaster for me the first couple of days and luckily, that is evening out a little now. When we first came home from the hospital I felt like everything was worth crying over. The highs were really high and the lows were really low with very little feeling in between. One second, Aubrey would be puking on her bedroom carpet at the same time as Sylvia was spitting up everything I just nursed her and I was crying because it felt like there was no way I could handle two kids. Within five minutes Martin and Aubrey would be playing a laughter filled game of chase while I cradled Sylvia in my arms and I'd be crying because life just doesn't get so perfect, so often.
Aubrey is absolutely in love with Sylvia and proudly tells everyone she is her baby sister. And she already has an innate sense that Sylvia is watching her every move and so is considerate enough to tell her she will "Be right back, Syliva" when she goes to find her plastic animals to play with. So far she doesn't really seem too jealous and any issues she has with sharing are mostly expressed through her speaking for Sylvia. As in, Sylvia is crying and wants to be fed but Aubrey wants to play a game with me. Aubrey: She says no. She says put her her down. She wants to sleep.
And Aubrey and I have been having tons of fun enjoying a leisurely time together that we rarely get to enjoy. I guess I hadn't noticed it so much when I was working mostly because I probably didn't know any different, but for the most part, our time is very structured. On the weekdays its get home from work and start rushing through the evening tasks, making dinner, giving a bath, maybe cuddling on the couch for a brief minute together, reading books in bed and then watching her fall asleep. On the weekends, it seems there is never much more time. It's rushing here and rushing there, combined with my own selfishness of feeling like I haven't had a free minute to myself - I never really just play with abandon with Aubrey. But now, without the pressures of a schedule or a deadline or a limited timeframe, I can dedicate an entire hour to playing hide and seek and not feel bored to tears or like I should be doing something else. I can run in circles around the kitchen island playing chase for a full ten minutes without breaking off to start another task. I can let Aubrey cuddle into my arms on the couch until she falls asleep. That, has been amazing.