My Fat Person

Martin: It was so hot last night, I spent an hour and a half in the middle of the night cruising the internet because I couldn't sleep.
Me: Yeah, but you put that fleece blanket down on the couch. That thing makes you hot.
Martin: I want to protect the couch. I think it's starting to wear thin.......No! Don't you even start on that blanket. In the winter you think it's too cold. Now you're saying it's too hot. You have always hated that blanket.
Me:  I don't hate that blanket. I think it's really nice to cuddle on the couch with in the winter, it's just not heavy enough to sleep with. I like to sleep with a heavy weighted blanket on me in winter.
Martin: I have never once heard you say anything good about that blanket! You are always talking down about it.
Me: Well, you usually always have it in the bedroom in the winter.
Martin: No, you can't change the story now, that's like saying she's fat....but she has a really pretty face. That blanket is my fat person. Once you say she's fat, it's too late to say she has a pretty face. THAT BLANKET IS MY FAT PERSON.