Thursday, August 22, 2013


I've been debating whether I should post this story on here for a good month. Mostly because it goes way past the line of personal and I'm not sure anyone really wants me to go there. But then I thought, Martin's first words after the scene were, 'This makes a great story' and if nothing else, I hope think it's relatable.'s the scene:

Aubrey is taking a bath. She's splashing away in the tub. There is some sort of foam dolphin being saved by a foam turtle or maybe a foam fish. Either way, there is an adventure ensuing and someone is being saved. Most likely someone needs to go the hostibal (hospital). Almost all Aubrey's stories follow the same thread.

Martin is on a somewhat tight time schedule to go drive truck and wants us to participate? in marital relations. (I'm not really sure how to write this on here and somehow just straight up saying it seems blasphemous to the idea that grandmas read this site (luckily not mine).

I'm nervous about the fact that Aubrey is in the tub, but also easily convinced.

At one point I don't think I hear any splashing from the bathroom and shut the fan off to listen. I immediately hear splashing and storytelling and rest assured.

And then, out of nowhere

Aubrey: Mommy, what is daddy doing to you?
Martin/ Me: (saying nothing, staring at our daughter like deer in headlights, throwing pillows in front of us, and me jumping out of bed)
Aubrey: Mommy, it looks like daddy was sitting on you.
Me: Mmmhmm. Yeah. Yep. That's it!
Aubrey: (turning to Martin) Daddy, that is bad! You're not supposed to sit on people!

And then she went to bed as if the world was fine and she had just taught her daddy a lesson like any self-respecting two year old would do.

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