Saturday, January 5, 2013
This photo was taken on the evening of New Year's Eve. The evening before a massive headcold crawled its way into the left side of my head and has been hiding away like an unwanted mouse ever since. I've gone through more tissues than I can count and haven't had a good night's sleep in five days. That coupled with the fact that I'm taking nothing in the interest of the life growing inside me and it's been super busy at work; I'd say I could be happier. But no worries. I'm sure I'll get through this. Thursday was really the worst day and now it's less of an unwanted mouse hiding in your house and more of that mouse that died in the walls and you're just waiting for it to decompose so the smell will finally dissapate. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this mouse metaphor, but at this point it's not getting erased.
So....35 weeks means that as of next Saturday I will officially be full term, meaning I could have the baby at any time. I'm torn between wanting to have the baby as soon as possible and wanting to hold off as long as possible. It's different from last time when the sheer uncomfort I felt by the time I reached my due date overrode any other feelings I had about wanting to keep the baby inside of me for as long as possible. With Aubrey, I wanted to stay pregnant forever because I was terrified of being a parent. This time around, I'm not terrified of being a parent but I also feel like we have so much to do before I can possibly have this baby. We have yet to get our crib set up. I don't have the carseat gathered or together. There is no hospital bag packed. The monitor we used with Aubrey fell in a bucket of water and broke. We have yet to replace the thing. Also, and mainly, I have absolutely no desire to get a baby and a toddler ready and out the door every morning before heading to work during the cold of winter. The more time that goes by before I have the baby, the later in the year it will be when I return back to work.
That's just a brief look into some of the thoughts that are jostling around in my head at any given time (jostling around but carefully trying to avoid that dead mouse). Now that we really are reaching the end I'm going to try to post updates weekly until the final day. So....until next week, that's a glimpse at my pregnant life.