Do You Do The Weed?

Last Saturday night my friend Kate and I went out together. While the evening wasn’t really crazy or super eventful, I had a great time because I haven’t really gone out in …. A while, and there were even some conversations worth retelling!

We started the evening at a Mexican restaurant. Because the Mexican restaurant doesn’t have their liquor license yet, we had to resort to bringing our own alcoholic beverage. So we filled a gallon jug of Poland Springs water half way full of gin, tonic and some limes and walked to the Mexican restaurant for some dinner. By the time we arrived dinner hour had already come and gone and we were almost the only people in the restaurant. We were enjoying our chips and salsa when the waiter came over and starting talking to us about this that and the other thing. And then….out of nowhere:

Waiter: Do you do the weed?

Us: (not really hearing him) What?

Waiter: Weed? Do you smoke weed?

Us: Oh…..no. We’re good. Not tonight.

And I think that is definitely the first time I’ve ever had a waiter at a restaurant ask me to light up with him.

Later in the evening we went to a different bar and spent a good part of the time people watching and trying to listen in on conversations. At one point a really pompous looking kid was talking to the very nice bartender and just sounding like a complete moron. Something about a fat girl with blonde hair, I really just stopped listening to him.

Kate: I would fuck him.

Me: What???

Kate: I was going to say I would fucking kill him but I think what you heard was I would fuck him.

Me: Oh good. That makes more sense.