Love Hog

Here's a few little anecdotes from our life I thought you might enjoy:
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me: (laying in bed poking my stomach) I think I've been making too big dinners for us. I don't know if I can wear a bikini in Florida. What do you think
martin: I don't know if that's the problem. You might be too white to wear a bikini.
me: o man! I didn't even think about that.
Red hair = fair complexion = sunless winters are the devil.

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martin: (running into the kitchen at 5:00 in the morning with an excitement that should not be found at 5:00 AM as I butter an english muffin for breakfast) Did you know that my new duffel bag has a shoulder strap??!
me: I'm pretty sure all duffel bags have shoulder straps.
martin: Well, I didn't even know about mine until I opened it up, it was tucked inside
(15 minutes later, we're both leaving the apartment with duffel bags, mine packed for Chicago, Martin's packed to go back home for the funeral)
martin: Did you check out my shoulder strap, pretty nice, huh?
me: My shoulder strap is padded.
martin: Yeah, well. This isn't a competition
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me: (laying in bed, in a tonedef singing voice) I love you. (when picturing that in your head, please make as unlyrical as possible. I honestly cannot  find notes.)
martin: (starting to fall back asleep/just waking up let's out a huge snort and wakes himself up.
me: (laughing) I say I love you and you snort at me. What is that?
martin: I guess I'm just a love hog.
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martin: Man, I'm gonna be walking through the airport and people are going to be like - whoa look at that guy, he's in the olympics.
me: ha! Why would they say that?
martin: Because of this new adidas duffel bag. Only real athletes carry stuff like this.
- if you're wondering, the answer is yes, there has been an unneccesary level of excitement of the new adidas duffel bag in this household.