Me: No, I don't think they will
Martin: I'll bet you ten dollars.
Me: Well...I don't know if I want to bet on it.
Andrew/Mike: What are you talking about?
Martin: I bet they're going to go into the port-a-potty together.
Andrew/Mike: Oh, no they're not.
*Caton and Kylie proceed to enter the port-a-potty together*
*Martin leans back against the car in victory*
Andrew: Oh, man. You lost. You guys are married. That means you have to do him a sexual favor now.
Martin or Mike or Andrew: (my memory of who is a little hazy) Look at this d-bag in front of the port-a-potty. He's being a complete jackass.
Andrew: He's wearing basketball shorts. Basketball players, pheh, I could definitely take him.
D-bag in Basketball Shorts: Starts pounding on port-a-potty about 30 seconds after Kylie and Caton enter.
Martin: Hey! Why don't you go pee in the bushes like every other guy here and leave the bathroom for the girls
D-bag in Basketball Shorts: I did. I'm just waiting with my girlfriend
Mike: Well. Why don't you give those girls a little time. There's two of them in here.
D-bag in Basketball Shorts: (talks some sort of ridiculous and lame comeback)
Martin: (retorts with something that is neither ridiculous nor lame)
Mike: (taking the conversation to a whole new level) Why don't you come over here and we'll settle this.
D-bag in Basketball Shorts: I will come over there!
Andrew: Hey! Cool it, kid.
The situation fizzled shortly after this exchange but in replaying it over and over again throughout the course of the night, Mike's fighting attitude and Andrew's play it cool demeanor became more and more halarious. Although Andrew insists that, If something had happened I (andrew) would have had their back, he definitely didn't egg a fight on with the same enthusiasm exhibited by Martin and definitely Mike.
Martin: I'm driving a super secret way to get there. We're going to avoid all the traffic. We'll be there by 4:15, maybe even 4:12
Me: No, this is the dumb and long way to get there.
Andrew: Pass this car.
Caton: Did you just tell him to pass this car.
Martin: Of course! He's my co-pilot.
Andrew: Yeah. Exactly. We've got a 4:15 arrival time. I've got to help make that happen.
It's only fitting that the pilot and co-pilot went to pee in the bushes together, stood 15 feet apart so they didn't look too close and then had a conversation the entire time.
We were close to the oldest people at this concert. This became painfully obvious a number of times:
*A guy and three girls line up and use our table to set down their plastic shot glasses and fill them up, the kid notices Andrew's t-shirt*
Shot Kid: Hey, do you wrestle.
Andrew: Yeah. Did you?
Shot Kid: Yeah. I did.
Andrew: Oh, did you ever wrestle Holley?
Shot Kid: Ummm. Yeah.
Andrew: How old are you? (At this point Andrew is kind of starting to pump himself up to meet someone that wrestled his school)
Shot Kid: Seventeen.
Andrew: Oh. I coached Holley when you wrestled them.
*waiting in line for the bathroom.*
Girl: Man. Guys have got it so easy. They get to pee in the bushes and we have to wait for this line.
Kylie and I: (completely egging her on) Yeah. This is terrible.
Girl: We have to sit down to pee. We have to wait in this line. We have to have babies. Guys got it so easy. We got it rough.
Kylie: She had a baby
Girl: You did??? See you know what it's like then. It's rough. We got it rough.
Me: (completely playing into this) Yeah! And HE knocked me up.
Girl: Yeah. You think you got it hard. Your girl over hear had a baby. She had to physically have a baby.
Martin: Hey. I'm being a father. I didn't run off. I'm supporting my baby.
Girl: Well maybe. But you didn't have to physcially push that baby out. I mean, I can't speak from experience because I've never had a baby, but you didn't have to actually have one!
Some young girl from out of nowhere: I just want to say I respect you so much for having a baby.
Me: (looking at her like she's insane) Thank you?
Some young girl from out of nowhere: I'm sorry. I'm intoxicated. But I just respect you so much for having the baby and not having an abortion.
Kylie: She's married. Why would she have an abortion.
Some young girl from out of nowhere: OH MY GOD. YOU'RE MARRIED?!
Kylie: Are you peeing???
Girl: Don't worry we didn't touch your car.
Kylie: So? Are you seriously peeing there. We have to walk there!
Girl: We just didn't want to wait in line. I'm sorry. We didn't touch your car. I know how it is. I have a car now and I'm, like, really protective of it.
*this occurred moments after arriving, before alcohol made dignity fly out the window and boys feel like peeing outside is completely acceptable*
Andrew: I hate waiting in line for the bathroom.
Martin: Why don't you just go pee in the bushes over there.
Andrew: I feel like its too early. I haven't had enough alcohol yet.
Martin: You're gonna go in there and then if there's any pee on the seat, every girl after you is going to blame it on you,
*a couple minutes later, Andrew exits port-a-potty*
Andrew: Martin, you got in my head. When I went in there the toilet was covered in pee. But there's a urinal right there. But I didn't want anyone to think that I peed all over the seat. Even though there's a urinal right there.......so I wiped up the seat.
Looking back on these conversations, it appears that we spent much of the night discussing or somehow involved in peeing. This might be true, but in our defense - alcohol tends to multiple those experiences and we were parked right next to the port-a-potty so the stories surrounding it were abound.
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