A Learning Experience

Ok. To defend myself a little bit before starting this post. This is not to say that I have never changed a baby's diaper. But, I can't remember when the last time I changed a diaper actually was. (prior to the 20 or so diapers I have changed in the past few days).

So the first night Aubrey was born. Obviously, she had a dirty diaper in the middle of the night. That is not alarming and should be expected. But picture Martin and I trying to clean this up in the middle of the night. In the dark. In the hospital. With little to no idea what we are doing.

*Ok. Let's back this up 8 hours to when I was in labor and Martin was reading a parenting book*
Martin: It says here that babies diapers should be a brownish yellow, like calf scours.
Me: OH MY GOD. I am done with these contractions. I want to just push this baby out now.

*Ok. Now fast forward to the time of diaper change*
Me: Didn't you say the poop was supposed to be like calf scours. Because this is black. It looks like tar.
Martin: Oh, yeah. That's what the nurse said it was going to look like the first couple of times.
Me: Are you sure?? Like tar????
Martin: Yeah. I'm sure.

We then proceed to attempt to change the diaper. I kind of  hold her legs back, but it didn't really occur to me that I would have to firmly hold them back because, believe it or not, babies are not smart enough not to swing their legs around into their poopy diapers. So Aubrey begins wildly swinging her legs around causing her entire legs and the identification band on her ankle to get covered in tar-like baby poop. I attempt to clean this off with the wipes provided by the hospital. These wipes, however, are not wet and are doing a completely pitiful job of cleaning my child off. After a few minutes of struggle, we get everything cleared up and remove the dirty diaper from underneath Aubrey's bottom. I then turn around to get a clean diaper. In the meantime, Aubrey poops again. This time there is no diaper there, so she poops on the receiving blanket she is laying on. I wipe that poop up. Or attempt to. I now have a dirty blanket on my hands also.

Martin: Maybe you should move her out of the poop.
Me: I'm trying to. That's what I just did.
Martin: Yeah, but she's still kicking her legs and rolling into the poop.
Me: Oh boy, she just pooped again! What is with this baby? How can she poop so much!?

Needless to say, we were able to get all the the poop cleaned up, the receiving blanket replaced, and to the happiness of all involved my diaper changing skills have improved at least ten-fold since my first experience!